An Assortment of Stories

Session 1

Bitches

The party was gathered by some peasants who want some help defending their village against bandits threatening to sack there harvest crop. Damion cleverly stole a horse and then switched it with the fruity Half orc with the puffy pirate shirt. Frigg called people pissbrains in a very drunken manner. The devae were snotty bitches and very much oblivious to the social interaction taking place around them. The bard wore a floofy shirt. They came across a little girl getting kidnapped or something by bandits. They fought the bandits, smashed some heads, threw some salt, and one or two bandits successfully ran like bitches. The little girl appears to looooooooove Damion, much to his dismay.

from the journal of Galad, Deva

We were watching the humans attempt to appease the Gods in their temple when one of them entered, acting in what I can only assume was a distressed manner. I think it was a female. Yes, that is what it was. She was obviously incapable of solving her problem, so We asked her what was the cause of her distress. Apparently these humans take things from each other, and her village was not willing to defend its belongings. (Why these humans need such things as “crops” is beyond me, but hopefully study will shed some light on this subject.) Denel agreed that it was Our duty toward these lesser beings to protect them from each other, so We decided to help her.

We met some other humans that were attempting to help these villagers also. Let me see, it’s hard to tell them apart. There was a strange one with an obsession with salt; there was another one that seemed to understand the lesser nature of humans, it called some of the other humans very interesting names (This one claimed to be a female, I do not believe it.); and lastly there was another human, this one with a green tinge to its face (Perhaps it is diseased?).

The villagers and these other humans traveled with Us towards the village, when We came across a group of humans attacking a smaller one. I lit some of them on fire, Denel called the Holy Light upon some, and the humans with us attempted to fight the attackers as well. Apparently the rescued human wants to mate with the salty one. Interesting…

Comments

paintedbear surlydwarves

I'm sorry, but we no longer support this web browser. Please upgrade your browser or install Chrome or Firefox to enjoy the full functionality of this site.