An Assortment of Stories

Hello Journal 3

Damion's Journal

Hello Journal

Day sunny/rain/snow/dandruff?

Journal Journal so much to tell you. I found beet pies! This is marvelous! Their is a decrepit old woman/hag/elder in this dumpy little ho-bunk that actually makes them. This is great now i can cleanse my body even further. This old remedy will keep my body purified from poisons that I keep ingesting.

_*Day/night/fuzzy bunny*
_
So Anyway journal I came across more bandit tracks today and actually found a few of them. There were three plus additional ones. They seem incredible dumb and thus probably smell. I would have killed them but the numbers figured against me and I really don’t want to have to pay some god man to regrow my foot again. That was incredibly annoying. They did mention something about the leader of the bandits having a missing daughters this information might prove useful in the future events. Wonder if she is attractive or if she will want to breed with me as Free-jam keeps wanting to through her abusing me. Which has seemed to grow since I woke up after being unconscious with Orcy. I think orcy tried to rape me. I do not want to be raped by orcy. That will be delt with in due time.

Day something something something

Journal I am so cleaver. I decided to perform some test to see if my companions where worth anything. Weirdie 1 is building a wall, so i scanned it and seemed that the right bulwarks where off by about 9 degrees to the left followed by low compaction of crushed stone underneath the base of the southern front. His notes must not be right, compared to the cities well craft walls but hey what are you going to do when you don’t have artisan stone workers. Maybe if a few of the farmers die in the construction we can push the bodies underneath to keep it from sinking in the mud at a slower rate. Just a thought.

Then I tested the fighting skills of the Drunken Amazon/nympho/big boobs. These were practical testings, what i did Journal was disguised my self cleverly with a mask so no one knew it was me and began to randomly stab people!. This was so brilliant because not only would it test the combat skills of the FREE-Jams Freedom Fighters, but would also test the healing skills of Weirdie 2’s little band-aids-n-training! I was double dipping! And it was proper double dipping not like that one time with Maric and Telia in the shadow fang Inn and those 4 whores and that bard and the Tiger lady with the 3 gallons of Jam and the dragon-breath ale. All was going well unill i found someone like Orcy…. he proved formible. Indeed FREE-jam has train them well. Maybe too well.

Orcy was being orcy. But his booze industry and Free-jams growing brothel has givin me some ideas. Yes. I must send word of this to the guild. But journal don’t worry, I have high hopes for this ho-bunk village. Maybe we can make it grow and the people won’t smell as bad.

Night/Beet pie

So i was recovering from the stabbing party a wench came to me and offered a pie to me. Then when I demanded that she remove her garb she did. Stupid whore. Any wench that would take her clothes of by command means she is under the influence of someone else and not me. The pie must be a lie, much like the cake was a lie with BellRoff on his 20th birthday party. Man those boys know how to joke around, and it wasn’t until Bellroff fell over dead did he realize the cake was poisoned! Such good times had at the guild, A bit rough but when Bellroff was resurrected he even laughed too! Any way i took the wench and tied her up and smeared the pie all over her body. Let the ants Violate her, servers her right to not cook the pie infront of me so that I may see her not poisoning it. It must be Free-jam. She is so into me that she is sending death gifts? She must really want to attempt to make spawn and fail at that….. OR MAYBE SHE WANTS SPAWN! Oh by the nine hells that would be horrid. LIttle drunken Free-jams running around with smaller ORcy McPuffins following them around.

And journal finally there is an elf

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